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Swedes and Vipers take to Rink 1, the Swede bench filled to the gills with a raucous blue and yellow mass of humanity. Vipers only having 6 players who played doubly hard, but with half the emotion. Vipers score first on a lone man to the left of the slot, who dribbled one past Smith as he attempted to seal the post. The Swedes however pressed hard, and netted two to leave the first up by a goal. Vipers began slithering in from another rink in *ahem* different color jerseys during the second. The Viper goalie really came up huge, stoning several good chances. Smith also came up big on two breakaways, covering rebounds responsibly. A few penalties got the ink flowing by the scorekeeper, headed up by nasty boy Bifulco. The penalty box on rink 1 overall is really not that bad a place to spend your Monday night, save the frozen snot and spit. Entering the third, the Swedes continued their patented frenetic offense, led by Balls-Out Gore who plays every shift as it was his next to last- with his balls out, lunging at pucks like a drug crazed spear fisherman. Smith continued to perform admirably, and Jeff the guy who we hoped could score who now does, scored to give an insurance goal. Some Swede of above average intelligence decided to bring girls to the game, who always gives the remaining unmarried, straight Swedes left a boost (maybe 3, maybe 2). In the dying seconds, this Viper who was like a Sega Hockey 94 Jaromir Jagr stickhandles through 3 flustered Swedes, and dangles on Smith, who flashes the glove in true eroto-goaltending fashion. The Swedes crowd pops (both straight and not), the girls wonder what happened, and Smith feels flush as he realizes it is in his glove. Swedes win 4-1 on an empty netter, empty some 12 ozers, and move on to next week on a roll - with ham and swiss (drum roll). |
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The winless Swedes take to rink 2 to face their venerable opponent, the reigning champ Ice Hogs. The Hogs, having won multiple championships in as many years, sported the same goalie that has beaten the Swedes before. The first period however was won handily by the Swedes, who skated hard and took pucks to the net. Beleaguered, the Hogs pressed but were overrun by Swedish spirits who were blazing. Leaving the first an astonishing 4-0, led by Brian Gore, who stole the show with his board diving Ovechkin-esque antics. The Hogs tallied on an odd man chance in front, but the Swedes pressed hard and continued to get the lion's share of chances. The Hog goalie coming up with some huge stuff, it could have been way worse a deficiet without his flashing glove. Some pressure came in the third, but Smith proved reasonable in net, making saves and holding rebounds. Overall the story of the night was the Swedish Offense, who forechecked like men possesesed. Swedes win 8-3 and are now out of the winless schnide! |
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Why Electric Swedes? No one on the team is Swedish, or even knows someone who is. It is very much up for discussion whether anything about us is "electric". None of us can find Sweden on a map, but seriously, Sweden should step up and make their country shaped like something memorable - say a boot or America. What do we look like Magellan? We all agree however that Swedish women are very hot, and this binds us together as - the Electric Swedes. |
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Pete Smith, web playboy by day, goalie by Wednesday night, is an original Swede. Known to be a serious goalie gear whore, he will put his family in hock for the chance, no matter how minute, that a quarter of an ounce lighter glove will make him better. Because the league doesn't measure, he has cleverly disguised mattresses made for midgets as leg pads. He is also the same age (actually two weeks younger) than Tim Thomas.The NHL wants more goal scoring, so they have finally found their man - a gear whore who lets in gobs of goals. My cell phone is always on, except for church and movies, where it is properly turned off.